Working has made me more mature, I realized a lot of things. Experience is precious because it's not an easy thing to go through most of the things. My new friends at college are nice, they told me not to regret for choosing this college, or else we wouldn't know each other... and it is true. Getting to know a new friend, getting around a new place was hard, I hate this college at first, it was lousy, lecturers were so not cool, bad facilities, bad classmates, I hate nearly everything!
Slowly, I get to know new friends, new classmates, even the juniors. They're not as bad as I thought, it turned out to be the other round.. as usual, I always guess it wrong. When I thought :"Hey this dude is great or that chick is awesome~" In the end, the person that I thought 'cool' was awful and the person that have me bad first impression became my closest friends. I'll always remember that 'never judge a book by its cover' from now onwards.
I hate KL, I told
Fui Shan :"Why do I have to suffer like this?" She'll say:"Someone out there is worst than you but they just don't give up, why?" Then I need to ask myself why... I just don't get it. I hate this place cause it not my territory, whenever I got bullied I can't do anything cause I don't
fucking belong here... nearly everyday I recite :"I hate this place, can I go back?" Sad thing is I can't, I have to be here, always look forward and not back. I hate KL cause every time I go out I need to go with public transport, and everything is just expensive, I got lost more than twice, I walked more than 20 minutes without knowing where am I... Damn! I just hate this place!
Fui Shan, Adi & me, fooling around at work...
Each day I go to work I learned new things, each day I wake up I see new things, each day I go college I do new things... it has become more and more interesting, living in KL is part of my life. It's not what I hate anymore, because I realized that to achieve what I want next time I need to do what I have to do, so that I can do what I want to do. Not much people can read what I think, but I got a special friend that can guess what I think, it wasn't nice I thought at first, I like to keep things by myself, I prefer to be mysterious, let others ponder. He said something that makes me rethink what I want to do, or will do... I learned that experience... in order to gain experience... that process was painful but... after you learned from that experience, you are someone.
I can't regret, Fui Shan always tell me, :"Do not regret what you chose, live with it." But that feeling of resentment will come each day when I'm down, I can only say "I can't regret, I won't..."
It is a bittersweet day today, I've got great friends, great colleagues, I sense greater things are coming... I love all of you, I love everything!
Gosh~! What am I writing?? As though I'm going somewhere and never come back~~!!
Fui Shan trying something new...
I've been dieting for years, the most successful ever was at 51kg, everybody said I get thinner already. Now, my weight just keep fluctuating, I'm seeking that long lost inspiration, what had inspired me so much that I can restraint myself... Sigh~ I need that motivation back! I don't want to be fat until die... I don't want to commit suicide(I have to marry Jay Chou), I don't want to get diabetes, no high blood pressure etc.. So I say... let gambate Beng & Ann!!
I went to Shangri-La hotel, came back with ache heart, broke, fail to meet that expectations that I wanted... Am I asking too much?
Getting back to work was fun, I started working on the 20th, the same day that our 3rd semester start. The new sem wasn't nice, Mrs.Amara hubby passed away(so sorry), so we got 3 days of class cancelled. Aroused at first, but then only to realize the worst, she replaced nearly the whole sem class! I heard a lot of interesting stories from classmates, saying how 'interesting' the class was, until everyone falls asleep, some were chatting, some listening to Mp3, some were starring at the walls... I can already imagine that, as though I was there. I can't wait for the coming tuesday class, Pengajian Malaysia... I'm gonna make that class interesting!!
I was furious that she arrange lousy replacement class for us, without discussing with us... She replaced it on Friday and Saturday, I promised to come to work at 1pm on Friday, I hate Saturday classes cause they're wasting my time and money, I skipped today's class but I can't do that all the time... I just fucking hate Friday classes!